The Struggles Of A Perfectionist

Recently I stumbled upon an article from The Haute Mess called The Not-So-Pretty-Behind The Scenes: Fashion Blogging Confession. I couldn’t relate to this post more. I really wanted this summer to be dedicated to accomplishing my goals. I’m very happy that I finally started the blog that I’ve always wanted to. I’m so grateful for all the feedback  I have received from everyone who reads the blog. I’m always looking for ways to improve the blog and make the posts as best as they can be. 

I was so overwhelmed when I realized how many bloggers there actually are. I wasn’t sure if I was “blogging properly.” All I knew was that I wanted the content on my blog to be good. I’m all for supporting other bloggers out there because it’s scary putting yourself out there, but it’s wonderful when people are telling you that you are inspiring them.

Even though I am getting all this positive feedback I still doubt myself. Don’t get me wrong I’m fabulous, but I do get insecure about myself. I compare myself to others too often and I feel very insecure about myself.  Sometimes I don’t even mean to compare myself to others, it just happens subconsciously. I’ve realized that the perfectionist in me is a trait that has been passed down to me from my mother. However, I’m slowly learning how to be content with myself and everything that I do.

 When you are a perfectionist you struggle with: 

FEELING INSECURE

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Having someone take photos of me, only made me feel a hundred times more insecure about myself. It takes me a long time to get comfortable in front of the camera. Sometimes the photographer takes over 200 photos and end up liking only three of them. I wanted the photos to come out artsy and candid looking like other bloggers. Instead, I looked awkward.  I became very critical of myself and I needed to gain back my confidence. There is nothing sexier than confidence.

DOUBTING YOURSELF

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In order to have a successful blog you need to post daily, but I don’t want to post just anything. I want the content of my blog too be good. So every week I start a couple of drafts, but not all of them get posted. I only post the one I think is good enough for my readers to read. Sometimes I wonder if all my posts and photos look professional, but if I continue to question everything I do I would never have anything to post.

COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

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Writing blog posts is only one component of running a blog, obviously, the aesthetic of your blog is an important component as well. I know in order to get the site to look good as possible that may require some money, but as of now, I’m trying to make it look as good as I can with what I have. Looking at other blogs made me want to make mine look as perfect as possible. I know it’s going to take some time for my blog to look like how I want it to. I need to learn how to be content with what I have because looking back at my posts they are not as bad as I think.

Through this process, I have learned how to overcome the inner perfectionist in me. I realized that: 

1) Being perfect isn’t important, being a better you is

While trying to gain my confidence back I came across two amazing articles. The first article is about the queen of Harry Potter J.K Rowling, sharing her words of wisdom with the world. The article is called How JK Rowling helped me stop wishing to be the prettiest one.  The article is about the pressure to look perfect and how a quote from J.K Rowling helped her stop wishing she was the prettiest one. J.K Rowling said, 

“I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”

She couldn’t be more right. We shouldn’t always focus on looking perfect, but being the best person we can be. It shouldn’t matter if they are prettier people in the world because if you’re striving to be the best person you can be than that is all you need to feel beautiful about yourself (easier said than done of course.)

2) There is no such thing as looking perfect 

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I used to never post selfies because I was never satisfied with how I look.  Only when I realized I don’t need to look perfect in order to look pretty did I start liking the pictures I was taking.  Selfies are a form of self-love, not self-obsession. I read this article about how new research is suggesting that selfies are more empowering than we think. The article explains how selfies are becoming a way for women to control how others perceive them. People in society view the act of taking selfies as a narcissist quality, but it’s really become a way for women to strive away from the male’s gaze and the concept of women as objects.

3) Confidence is key

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If you’re not confident in how you look then you will believe that you’re beautiful. If you’re not confident in your abilities then you will never think you are good enough. Gaining your confidence is a process, and if you need a confidence boost then stop comparing yourself to others and remind yourself why you love what you do. Don’t forget the value in you, striving for perfection is a waste of time,  strive for improvement. 

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Feature Image via: Pinterest