Sweet Jesus! This Line is Long

I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve taken pictures or videos that I NEVER ended up posting (or sending to any of the people involved); rather I keep them stashed on my hard drive because I’ve either forgotten about them, or just simply shrugged the moment off because I didn’t think it was significant enough for anyone to care. What was that really long sentence for oh beloved Kim? Well, I say all of this to say, I had the greatest of intentions to write about my Sweet Jesus experience (which took place sometime in March by the way) but I had completely forgotten about it until last night when I decided to do some maintenance in my picture folder.

At some point in your “Living in the Greater Toronto Area” career, you will come across a restaurant or two that has a serious (did I mention how SERIOUS! “serious” can be?) cult following.  I had stumbled upon Sweet Jesus’ Instagram and came to a life altering decision that I desperately needed to visit this turqoisey-euphoric-unicorn-looking-land for one of my weekly birthday celebrations in March. So on a devastatingly cold day in March, where I didn’t dress properly because I thought looking “cute” was way more important. Like any true lover of ice cream and dessert and all things sweet, I journeyed to the center of Toronto- by a bus, a train, a street car and my precious feet, and to meet my friend. We set off to acquire what I anticipated to be magical!

After googling the directions and pulling up at the wrong door step, Paula and I looked up and saw a sign, literally. The sign led us to an ajar door with what we thought at that particular moment was a “long line.” The absolutely normal thing to do when a long line (which is the only means of being served), is ridiculously long, is to evacuate said line, go do something else, and come back to it later, WORST DECISION EVER!

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(Afore mentioned sign by Kimbo Gayle)

By the time we went and did whatever it was we said we would do, the line had only gotten longer. It meandered in the most awkward and disappointing of formations possible, and as we waited in this line, it seemed only to be moving at a snail’s pace and growing longer and longer outside the establishment’s doors.

So after 45 minutes of waiting to place our order, which is just about the right amount of time I need as an ENFP to make up my mind about the ice-cream flavour I would like to so desperately devour (or anything for that matter), we were still not at the front of the line, rather we were close enough to the finish line, waiting on the people who were still waiting to be served to get out and make room for the rest of us.  Another 10 minutes goes by, and we’ve reached the end of journey, except, IT’S NOT THE END!!!!!!!!!! In fact, it’s only the beginning, because the VANILLA MACHINE BREAKS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I  didn’t explain before, but now would be a better time than ever to tell you that the ice-cream at Sweet Jesus is soft serve icecream that is either a vanilla or chocolate base or both. Then a series of toppings that make you scream Sweet Jesus 4 Life!

Now, I would never bash the staff because I think they all did a really fantastic job at keeping their cool and being super professional under the circumstances. I even think there was one girl who was new and was being trained on that day- talk about being thrown in the lion’s den! It must have been something for her. Really, my issue was with my luck, because right by the counters there was a door and I kept seeing people walk out and take pictures with their dessert. However, because the vanilla machine got overheated, they needed to open the doors – remember I said I wasn’t dressed properly. I eventually got to the top of the line and I still had to wait another 20 minutes because of course, I ordered an ice-cream that was VANILLA-BASED.

Finally, the end had draweth nye! And I walked out ice-cream in hand feeling a little cocky because everyone else who is outside waiting in that heck of a line is going to go through what Paula and I just witnessed.  I walked passed the crowd, took my camera out and started trying to take artsy fartsy pictures like everyone else. By the way, they didn’t come out so great. Please see below:

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“Artsy Fartsy” picture by Kimbo Gayle

As the picture has revealed, I did dig in to the ice-cream because I really couldn’t wait another hour to get a nice shot- it was freezing, and so was I! But was this $6.75 cent cone of specialty ice-cream truly worth the hour plus wait?

The ultimate truth is that I’m not quite sure. I would love to go back because I really love their aesthetic, and I don’t want to unfairly judge the place based on a single scoop of vanilla-dipped-oreo-crumble-chocolate-dust scoop of ice-cream. However for now, I guess I will have to. Whatever I picked was wayyyyyyyyyy too sweet and had a somewhat overbearing taste of rum. Not the, “I’m sublte but I’m sexy” type of rum, but more of the “I should have come prepared for this and eaten some bread before I left home” kind.  I had some of whatever Paula was having and it seemed 100% less alcoholic than mine. Being coated in Oreo and chocolate crumbs- which are naturally artificially sweetened- was far too much for me to handle.  I didn’t end up finishing the whole thing and if you know me you know I HATE to waste food.

All in all, it was an adventure and I think I will give Sweet Jesus another try as soon as I can.