Recently I used some of my friends as models for a shoot I was styling. I’m so thankful for their help, but whenever I do shoots with them I start to feel insecure about myself. I’m happy to say that at the age of twenty when I look in the mirror I do feel beautiful, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve stopped comparing myself to others.
I’ve talked about confidence a lot on my blog and I’ll say it again,gaining confidence is a process. It’s not just a matter of being confident in how you look but being confident in your abilities. I’ve trained myself to not compare myself to others because it’s not a healthy habit. Nevertheless, it’s hard not to when my friends are modelling for me to create content for this blog, and they look better than me. I enjoy being apart of photo shoots not just as the stylist but as the model too. However, being somebody who finds so much joy in fashion and works in the industry, of course you start to question how you look and that seriously messes with my fierce attitude.
So here I am with my friends Kim and Dallis while Brooke is the photographer for the shoot. I’m looking at them and I ask myself, “Whose the hottest one in the squad?” Of course my thoughts are a victim of society’s current views. I start questioning myself and continue thinking, “If I’m not the hot one in the squad then I need a new squad. Dallis and Kim look amazing, with them I’m just the hot girls’ friend, and I can’t have that.”
I’ve always liked the look of having several models in a photo because it looks good. Coincidently I learned that according to a study by the University of California people look more attractive when seen in groups. It’s called the cheerleader effect. Your brain combines the features of everybody into one image. It’s true that I’ve always thought I looked good whenever I was in photos with my friends. Haven’t you ever seen a group of guys (or girls) at a party and you’re like wow they’re hot! When you get closer you realize only one of them is actually good-looking. However, we don’t always travel in squads. It is looking good individually that is the constant struggle for everybody.
Whenever I find myself comparing myself to others I remind myself why I’m (also) the hot one:
1 ) Develop Your Own Standard of Beauty
You can only start to feel confident you, “develop your own standard of beauty.” Once you know what makes you feel beautiful doing whatever that is, is the ultimate confidence booster. For example, I like to have my eyebrows and eyeliner on fleek. When my eyebrows are a mess and my eyeliner is squiggly I look like an ugly duckling, but when they’re on point I basically look like J.Lo walked into the room.
2 ) Seeing Other Good Looking People Doesn’t Mean You’re Not
I know living in a world that consists of Instagram likes and Victoria Secret Models it’s hard not to compare yourself. However, just because you see attractive people on Instagram or in magazines doesn’t mean you’re not. We live in a world where Photoshop and filters are used, yet we still compare ourselves to unrealistic images. You have to remember that everyone’s different, there is something beautiful about each and every one of us. Seeing my friends model I see so much beauty in them. I don’t even understand why they’re single. Yes, Gigi Hadid and Kim Kardashian are super sexy, but that doesn’t mean you’re not either.
Perspective plays a big role in how you see yourself and others. They are times when I see photos of myself and I think I look terrible, but my friends think I look amazing. We’re our own worst critics, don’t be so hard on yourself allow yourself to see the beauty in you.
3 ) Keep Telling Yourself You’re Beautiful
Even at times when I felt insecure about my looks, the more I told myself I was beautiful the more I believed it. Everybody wants to start off their day on a positive note, so before you leave the house tell yourself whatever you want to be.
If you don’t love yourself then who will?
4 ) Stop Getting Nervous Around Hot People
I know the queasy feelings of butterflies when you’re in the presence of someone good-looking. I hate feeling nervous because you always end up looking stupid. Hence, I promised I would never be the type of person that gets nervous around hot people, I’m going to be the person people get nervous around. Good-looking or not, at the end of they day they’re just people.
5) Don’t Wait For Other People’s Approval
I never want to be the type of girl who considers herself beautiful only after some guy compliments her. Obviously it’s nice when other people compliment you, but I don’t need people to compliment me to know that I am beautiful. Don’t think that guys you like don’t want to talk to you because you’re not good-looking. Think about it this way: they’re either talking to you because they think you’re beyond gorgeous or they’re not talking to you because you’re out of their league.
6) Dress for Yourself
I express myself through the clothes that I wear. A good cat eye and some lipstick makes me feel confident and ready to tackle the day.
Unfortunately, I can’t say that I’ve never worn something to get the attention of some guy before. However, I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I’m not doing that again. That guy probably won’t even notice you or might only notice you because of the way you’re dressed. Somebody like that is not worth it nor are you being true to who you are.
Life is too short not to look good and feel amazing.
Photo Credits: Brooke-lynn Brinkman