I think many of us had high hopes for 2020 but instead, we were faced with a worldwide pandemic. No one was expecting that a contagious virus would cause cities to go into lockdown. The effects of the lockdown seem to be endless. Many small businesses have closed down and the virus has taken the lives of many. Toronto is in lockdown for the second time and I have no idea when things will go back to normal.
Spending time at home has given me lots of time to reflect. I know it’s given me the time to realize who I want in my life and which relationships I want to put the effort in. I realized that I have no idea how to communicate with my parents or my siblings. I’ve spent my time contemplating how to repair my relationships with my family. This quarantine has definitely proven that communication is extremely important and that my communication skills could use some work.
It’s been one year since I graduated from university and being unemployed. I spent most of 2020 sending resumes, going to interviews, and getting rejected by employers. It’s been an exhausting process. I feel burnt out. I don’t know how many more times I can get rejected before I give up and become a full-time Tik Toker.
Once Toronto went into lockdown I felt like I was in a slump. Just like everyone else I was relying on technology to stay connected to the world. Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful that I have access to technology but I’m definitely tired of looking at a screen. However during quarantine I learned an important lesson about loneliness. I used to feel so ashamed to feel lonely, but this year I learned that no matter what’s going on in my life I need to accept that sometimes I will feel lonely. Whether I am lonely or not I know that there’s nothing better than having time to myself.Feeling lonely only has strengthened my relationship with myself. I have the time to learn new things, enhance my skills, and work on bettering myself. Nothing is better than having time to continue to learn what makes me happy and taking care of my needs.
All I know is that 2020 is the year of closure for me. I want to leave the people who treated me wrong in the past. I want to leave my insecurities behind and work on bettering myself. My aunt told me that instead of making new year resolutions I should set reminders. New year resolutions can be disappointing. Setting myself reminders to focus on positivity and gratitude is more effective.
I know we haven’t had the best start in 2021 considering Ontario’s COVID-19 cases are quite high and there is a coup taking place in the United States. However, I want to remind myself in the new year that the most important thing is to remember how resilient I am and how resilient everyone else around me is. I want to remind myself that as human beings we have the ability to persevere at the worst times. I want to remind myself things could always be worse and that the most important thing is that I am healthy and safe.